She sat there on her bedroom floor with a box of jewels. Each of it was tangled with another. Necklaces, anklets, chains, and rings – all of them were so important to her. They were either bought or gifted by the people who loved her. Some were as good as new, some rusted and some were old but good to use.
She sat there and yanked them impatiently trying to untangle them. The more she pulled, the more mess it all became. At one point, she lost her patience and threw the box to a corner. Agitated, she lied down on the floor looking at the ceiling.
A drop of tear fell from her eyes. She did not remember the last time she lied down on the floor doing nothing. The coldness of the floor seemed new to her.
She stayed there thinking, “Was I running a little too fast? Did I get obsessed with the running, that I forgot why I am running in the first place?”
For a long time, she kept pulling herself away from things – people, places, work. It was like she was scared that she might fall for it. And, if she fell, she thought she might never be able to rise. Every time she came close to doing something she liked, she flipped and cut the rope that was holding her to it.
She turned down the music, changed the channel, cut her hair, pushed people, wore a brave face and walked. But, deep down her fears were eating her. Sometimes, she wanted to change all of this, she wanted to hang her shoes and say “that’s it!”
But, the “what’s next”, scared her. She was sick of fighting this battle alone in her head. And, every time, things went south, she would drive in the opposite direction. But now, she couldn’t drive even if she wanted to. So, she crawled up, opened the box and instead of yanking, cutting or throwing, she gave in and started with the smallest knot.