Kannathil Muthamittal is my all time favourite movie and every time I watch the movie there is something new that I notice. It amazes me how a movie that got released about 16 years ago is so of the age even now.
The world that we live in knows only two kinds of love: the one that is bonded by blood and the one that is united in the name of romance. Most of the people do not realize that there is a third kind, the one where you are not related by blood nor do you share a romantic relationship. If you ask me if the third kind is stronger than the first two, I don’t know. All that I have is one question for you “How does it matter?”. And, that is what the movie portrays.
Indra is a mix of emotions or to quote Thiruchelvan – “unarchi kalangizham”. The look on Indra’s face outside the temple on Amudha’s 9th birthday when she tells Thiru “neenga kutitu ponga, naa varala” tells us how scared she is about the change this truth is going to bring to her family. She is holding on to every hope left amidst the chaos that is running inside her head.
How do you convince a wailing child that you love her as much as your own? How do you convince her that nothing has changed? How do you establish the fact that she is as important as the other two kids? How do you do all of this when you, yourself are breaking inside?
Indra is the strongest of all the characters in the movie. I am not sure if the word strong does even the slightest of justice to Indra. She is an embodiment of love and there are no two ways to it.
Have you ever looked at someone and fell in love with them immediately? I am not talking about the love where you have a rush of adrenaline, where your hormones are playing hit high. It is sort of sad that I have to explain this because the word “love” is a taboo. The society over the years have built a different meaning for the word and has made it just difficult for people to love each the way they want to. Here, I am talking about the kind of love where you slowly fall in, where you look at someone and feel so motherly/fatherly towards them. The love where you want only good things to happen to them. A love that makes you want to protect them from all the negativity around.
Have you ever stood there watching someone you love the most walk past you towards something that scares you the most? That’s how it was for Indra to look at Amudha every time she left her side in search of her mother. Can you love someone so much that the very thought that they may leave you, scare you?
Every time Amudha bursts out of fear or anger. What do you think would have Indra gone through? Anger, upset, heartbreak, fear? It’s hard to say. What do you do when a small child hurts you with words? Show your anger? Let her go? Or accept the fact that she is too young to understand what is happening in your head?
How do you keep a brave face and protect your child from all the things that she puts herself into and still make sure that she gets what she wants? What do you do when you have just retrieved her from potential danger and she runs towards another with open hands?
Finally, what do you do when the answer to all her question is there before you. And, you realize that she might just leave you. Sit back and hope that it is good for her. Because that is what you do when you love someone.
I started writing this blog hoping that I could spell Indra in words. But somewhere between watching the movie and writing this, I realized I am going to terribly fail at this. That is Indra, you can’t describe her, you need to feel her.
I have been fortunate enough to get that feeling. A lot of you who personally know me have been asking me about Raam. And, I haven’t addressed this for a long time because it is difficult to make you guys understand. Today after watching Kannathil Muthamital and writing this big a blog, I assume you would. He is the Indra to my Amudha instincts and sometimes I am the Indra to his Amudha instincts. If you ask me how is that even possible, I don’t know. You can’t explain certain things and this is just one of those things. Someday I might have a child, but the fact that I see him as one of my own will never change.
If you ask me why is this person so important, I can only ask you a rhetorical question, “why are your parents so important?”. And, if you ask me who do you love more, I can only ask you, “How do you measure love?”