Every girl fantasizes about her dream wedding. I used to as well, then, I grew up.
I have always wanted to have a beach wedding with fairy lights and lamps all along the path, a beautiful centerpiece, a satin arch with white and blue flowers, a themed bar and a dining table by the shore. I wanted all of this until I realized that it would cost my dad the earnings of his lifetime.
Let alone a destination/dream wedding, a normal wedding by itself costs a fortune these days. Here is how much a normal middle/upper-middle class person would spend for hosting a wedding.
|Rent for 1 day||Rs. 2,50,000|
|Clothes for the couple||Rs. 2,50,000|
|Clothes for the relatives||Rs. 1,50,000|
|Miscellaneous (Transport/Gifts/Accommodation)||Rs. 3,00,000|
Now, this is the cost for a nominal (in other words simple) wedding that does not have add-on events like Sangeet or Mehendi. In such events, we can give or take another 5 lakhs.
And all this for a single day? Think about it. For a money of this kind or more, you could go on a world tour, buy a house, or maybe even repay all your loans and lead a peaceful life.
Marriage is about pledging the undying devotion to each other and you can do it with/without having a whole crowd (half of whom you don’t know) witness it. That said, I am not against having people at my wedding. I have a bunch of people who have their best interests for me. And, to me, it is enough if I have them around.
The clothes, makeup, decor – is it all really necessary? Do you really think you should spend 40K on a Lehenga that you might never wear or a buy a Tom Ford that you will not fit into in 5 years? Who are you trying to please? yourself, your peers or the society? The hard-hitting truth is that the only ones who get benefited from this are the banks.
It is kind of shocking because the same bank that is hesitant to offer you an educational loan is ready to offer you a marriage loan in 3 seconds without any collaterals. And, we are here cribbing about how India is still a developing country.
It is not always about the money. I have attended a lot of weddings. But all of this came falling down to me when my best friends got married. People come to weddings to talk about you, to criticize, to get dressed and to show off that they are better than you. If the bride’s make up is on point, then you hear comments saying the girl is not how she generally looks. If it is not, then it is shabby. If the guy wears a sherwani, he is too Bollywood. If not, he is not trendy. If there are a lot of varieties in the food, then it is too loud. If not, then they are being stingy.
A very few people come to your wedding to be there for you during this important event. They are the ones who are still there after the ceremony, even after everybody has left. The ones who torture you to eat your food and take enough rest for the next day’s event. I don’t care if the number is 3, 5, 10. Those are the only people I will want at my wedding.
In defense, one might say that it is a once in a lifetime event (if so, why do so many people get separated every year?). Well, everything is. How many undergraduate courses have you taken up? How many times did you turn 30? How many times did your parents celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary?
Some might say that you will remember the day for the rest of your life. True, very true. I will remember this day for the rest of my life. That’s the reason why I don’t want a grand wedding. Because I will also remember how much my dad spent on that, how much my mom had to go through to make sure that everything was perfect, and the stress that I had to endure because – you cannot satisfy everybody!